Living With An STD: Jane’s Story

Sex! In today’s dating scene, it seems as though everyone’s doing it. There are consequences to sex that people do not seem to consider; like pregnancy and contracting sexually transmitted diseases.  Jane (her name has been changed for identity purposes) contracted herpes, and wanted to share her story.

EGL: Jane, how did you find out you were infected with herpes? Jane: One day, I had an itch in my vaginal area. I thought maybe it was a feminine itch, but when I put some cream on it to relieve myself, it burned terribly. I went to the doctor two days later. During the course of the two days, I developed a rash and it hurt to urinate, to wipe myself, to touch. The doctor confirmed my fears: I was having my first herpes outbreak. I was engaged to be married at the time of diagnosis. My ex-fiancé was the only person I had been with for years. I was 28 at the time of infection; and I had been with him since I was 21.

EGL: How did you feel at the time of diagnosis? What was your ex fiancé ‘s  response? How did you cope? Jane: I was hurt and betrayed. I broke up with my ex fiancé and had deep depression. My ex’s response was, “I didn’t give that to you.” He acted like he had no clue what had happened. That was part of the reason I left. It took me awhile to cope with it. I prayed…a lot!  I dated and even had sex with a few guys. I did not tell them of my status because at the time, I was ashamed and I was using condoms. I figured if it got serious then I would say something. My health got better, and to date I have not had an outbreak in three years. When I found a man I wanted to be serious with, I would tell them prior to intimacy. They either accepted or didn’t, and I understood. Now, when I feel like I want to be intimate with someone, I do tell. My current boyfriend, who I have been with for the last year, is aware of my situation.

EGL:  What are some things about herpes that you would like to share? Jane: Most people think that if you get an STD, that it makes you a nasty person and that you must be promiscuous. Not true. What a lot of people don’t know is, that most women that get infected with sexually transmitted infections, are women that are in committed relationships or married. You can find that information on the CDC website.  I see jokes on social media about people with herpes but they really have no idea. There are two forms of herpes, Simplex I and II. Simplex I are cold sores you see on, in, or around the mouth. Simplex II is genital herpes. Herpes is actually very common and growing amongst the population. More people have it than are willing to admit. People with herpes don’t walk around with sores all day. As a matter of fact, chances are slim that a person with no outbreak can pass on the infection. Condoms are the best form of protection. I will also say that if a person is clearly having an outbreak, and even with condoms, the risks are way higher to catch the disease.

EGL:  Last thoughts for anyone who may infected and reading this article? To the women out there living with this disease, I encourage you to stay strong. If your concern is about relationships, know that there is a man out there that will also accept you for you! In the meantime, take good care of yourself and be knowledgeable about your situation.

By: Chanelle Woods