Mind VS Heart: Why Love Doesn’t Make Sense

You hear it all the time in those sappy romantic films: “Just follow your heart…” Well, we all (should) know that love doesn’t always include that happy ending. When’s the last time you and your honey rode off into the sunset on some horses with violins playing in the background? Exactly. When it comes to choosing between what your mind computes and what your heart feels, the answer may not be as obvious as you think.

Here’s another popular saying many people often cling to for relationship advice: “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours.” Seriously, “let it go?” Does that really sound like a good idea? Step out of your feelings for a second and think about the choices you make within your relationship.

Feel like pulling a Jazmine Sullivan on his SUV because he hurt you? Don’t get it twisted—orange is NOT the new black. Has he been stringing you along Being Mary Jane-style insisting he’s getting that divorce soon? You know you don’t deserve to be a side chick. He keeps saying he’s going to do better but do his words and his actions match up? Rather than act on impulse or emotion, consider the facts and ask yourself, “Does this make sense?”

Love is arguably one of the most beautiful gifts two people can share with each other but it can also be the most painful experience you’ll ever have in your life. Now, you can’t follow your man around 24/7 to make sure he doesn’t cheat on you but you can make sure you are emotionally healthy enough to handle it if he does. Life doesn’t stop for your broken heart. You still have to get to work on time or pick up the kids from school and you can’t function properly if your love life consumes your focus. Do what is best for your well-being and toss those rose-colored glasses in the garbage.

Ever wonder how you fell for a guy who’s “not your type;” or why you’re behaving in ways you’ve never behaved before; or why Rihanna took Chris Brown back for a hot second? It’s simple: Love doesn’t make sense. It has a tendency to hinder your ability to make unbiased, rational decisions. In it’s purest form, it defies every law of practicality. “Love is blind.” Now that’s a concept you can easily wrap your mind around because it’s absolutely true.

You don’t have to lock up your heart and throw it in the bottom of the ocean forever; Just clear your mind and incorporate some logic into your decision-making process. Look at things for what they are rather than just what you want them to be. Instinct and intuition are imperative but they’re not the only tools you have. The heart is built to heal itself and the mind controls the choices you make. They can be partners in this thing called love. Your mental health and emotional stability should remain intact regardless of whether your relationship is or not.

Written By: Dóréal Quarles