Frenemies: Are They a Friend to Me or a Low Key Enemy?

We have all had at least one friend in our lifetime that had questionable behaviors. If you’ve had such a friend, then it’s probably more appropriate to call them a frenemy.  A frenemy is someone who is supposed to be a friend but behaves more like an enemy. They usually act friendly towards you because the relationship is in some way beneficial to them, but they secretly harbor feelings of resentment or rivalry.

Although there are many characteristics of a frenemy, jealousy is probably the most prevalent. A jealous friend finds it hard to genuinely be happy for you or is always trying to copy and upstage your accomplishments. For example, when you tell your friend you just received a promotion at your job; instead of saying congratulations or I’m happy for you, they will respond with a statement like, “Oh okay.” Jealous friends will also try to make it seem like you are in competition with each other, but true friends are always trying to show support and be encouraging. It’s one thing to give advice and be honest with your friends and another to constantly criticize them.

As if jealously isn’t enough, frenemies also specialize in gossip. If there is one thing that a friend isn’t supposed to do, it’s talk bad about you. When people tell you not to trust someone who you consider a friend, pay attention! If they gossip about their other friends to you, then chances are you are not excluded from being talked about. You should only want people in your life who are trustworthy. A true friend will never stab you in the back or do anything to intentionally hurt you.

A friendship shouldn’t be filled with drama or insignificant altercations. You should be able to hold each other to high standards and expect equal treatment at all times. If you have a friend who expects the aforementioned from you, but can’t seem to reciprocate those actions to you, it’s probably time to sever ties with that person and make room for those equipped to offer real friendship.

Nyia Moore