The Lasting Effects of Serial Dating

How many of us know a serial dater or maybe you’ve been one yourself; jumping from one person to the next in full speed ahead with no breaks in between? Although it may seem harmless at the time, alternating from one situation to another one can have lasting effects.

For starters, after a break up or separation it’s important to reflect on what happened. Being able to look back and discover what each partnership taught you is vital to your individual growth and can also help you in future relationships. Not doing so can cause you to repeat the same mistakes again. You should always want to be able to walk away from a situation knowing that you learned something from it, no matter how heartbreaking it may have been.  Many times after a breakup we begin to blame ourselves for everything that went wrong which can tear us down on the inside.

Serial dating can also have negative effects on our self-esteem. Think about it, nobody should have the need to constantly be with someone in order to feel complete. It’s okay to be alone, in fact it’s one of the best things for you. When you spend time getting to know your flaws and strengths, it’s easier to date again because you are comfortable with yourself and can handle when someone else points out the not so nice things about you. Some of us are so insecure we don’t even know how to properly accept a compliment.

One of the worst things to do is to jump from one frying pan to the next before allowing the previous one to cool down all the way. Don’t go around looking for someone for the rebound in hopes that it will help you get over your ex. It’s unfair to your new love interest and very selfish. The truth is that dating someone new won’t make you get over your past, but time will. Think about the hurt and pain you could cause to your current lover. There is no need to have someone invest their time and efforts in you, if you’re not going to be all in. Be mature enough to let them find someone who can fully appreciate them. We don’t want to live in a world where people just go around hurting others because someone did it to them.

Breaking up can be rough, but don’t allow it to ruin the future. The best thing to do is to give yourself adequate time to heal, work on building yourself back up and become a better you. By loving yourself properly, you’ll be able to do the same for your future mate.

By Nyia Moore