On the Come-Up: Exploring Opportunistic Relationships

Are you friendly or an opportunist? Is it really so wrong to cozy up to someone in order to get ahead? Should you remain in your comfort zone because you don’t want to use others to get to where you want to be in life? Being friendly can sometimes lead to amazing opportunities. But if you lure associates under shady pretenses, you may end up looking like a leech.

There are a few perspectives we can analyze to detect your come-up game. Let’s begin with the “befriender.”

You are trying to move up in your career or pursuing a passion. You’ve been told to seek out others in your desired field. But how do you do that? You network, right? Correct. However, in doing so, you have to schmooze at events with people you don’t know.

Once you have contact information, you need to follow up by calling or emailing with: “Hi. I just wanted to say it was so great meeting you the other day. Can we get together one day soon for lunch?” You can also frequent events where you know this person will be. Youshould always find a way to rub elbows in hopes that they will talk to you and befriend you.

On the flip side of the coin; there is the potential friend, the connect, the game changer. Are they oblivious to one’s attempts at befriending him or her? Do they not smell the game coming from a mile away? Or do they allow the path of opportunity to take its course and see what the opportunist is really all about? Depending on what temperament of game changer the person you’re dealing with is, they can make an opportunist or break them. Beware of who you chose to pursue.

Andrew Sobel, author of “Power Relationships,” offers some sound advice. Here are a few of his tips when networking and befriending:

1. Figure out who matters most
2. If you want to connect to someone, find a way to help that person.
3. Be intriguing
4. Think people, not positions
5. Give before you ask
6. Be a generous spirit

The concept in the thread of tips is to not to be perceived as a user. Have a smart strategy, but all the while aiming to be genuine and authentic to your potential friend or mentor. Don’t be a schmuck; be of value, interest and benefit to others.

Written By: Tawana C. Coleman