As the saying goes, “Sometimes relationships are best left on the ground broken into thousands of pieces rather than picking them up and hurting yourself again.”
Broken hearts are no fun and can leave several band-aids, plenty of stitches and tons of emotional scars. Broken hearts not only build character, but train you mentally to enter every new date or relationship with your guards up like you’re Floyd Mayweather after the first bell rings. You basically expect someone to break your heart, or let you down and this needs to change. This is of course easier said than done, especially when no one has walked a block in your shoes.
(Untitled image of woman angry on date ) Retrieved September 2, 2014, from: http://ionehellobeautiful.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/bored-black-woman.jpg?w=630&h=379
How do you trust again? First, it’s important to trust yourself, and not put so much pressure on your decisions. We are all guilty of regretting something because we followed our heart and not our mind, so don’t put yourself in a position of not believing in your own decisions.
Next, believe in your heart that there are trustworthy people who exist in the world. The laws of attraction would say, what you think, you attract, so if you are walking around believing that no one can be trusted, then it’s more than likely that you will attract those untrustworthy individuals.
Learn to accept that people are not perfect and will let you down. It’s likely that people will not meet all of our expectations, which is normal, but when the bar is so high that people can do no wrong then the likelihood of us being disappointed with them will be more common.
Remember, trust is a necessity in any relationship, and not being trustworthy, even when people have given you no reason not to trust them puts your relationship at risk on a daily basis! It gets to the point that people feel like singing Keyshia Cole’s song “I Shoulda Cheated,” in which a person didn’t trust her so much that she contemplated giving them something to not trust her about!
Remember love and trust are soulmates!
By: J.L. Kirkwood, Marriage and Family Therapist